If unhappiness is the storm, then healing is not only to endure the weather but to root deeper, to grow even as the rain falls. For years, clients have asked me some version of the same question: How do I live when the world feels unlivable? A young teacher asked it with damp lesson plans crumpled in her hands. A father masked it with a half-smile at the dinner table, his fork tapping the plate long after the meal was finished. A grandmother voiced it as though releasing a burden she had carried across decades of loss. Though the tones differed, the longing was shared.
If Part I names the external pressures, Part II turns inward. Even when the economy steadies, even when the headlines calm, many of us still feel hollow. We succeed at work and still feel unworthy. We sit across from friends and still feel unseen. We wake up next to someone we love and still wonder if they really know us.
Happiness falters here: in the silence between unanswered texts, in marriages where two people share a bed but not their hearts, in bodies that carry weariness with every step.
Grief doesn’t leave. It changes outfits. One day, it’s the lump in your throat when a certain song plays. Another, it’s a quiet smile that sneaks in when someone uses their phrase. Or the way your body pauses before joy, because joy feels like betrayal when someone you love is no longer here. But grief is not a problem to be solved. It’s a presence to be befriended. A wound we live with. A scar that can still feel the weather.
We are in an age of information, an era defined by mass media with influences that are undeniable and far-reaching. Our connectivity is unprecedented and the access to content is never-ending. Each day we navigate through a landscape of media that demands our attention twenty four hours per day in a non-stop carousel of reporting. There are many benefits to having up-to-date news and real-time analysis, however this relentless cycle presents challenges.
Feeling my emotions enables my ability to make wise choices and to turn what I once considered a burden, into a benefit. My willingness to feel enables new learning opportunities to better understand my system (body) and its functioning. What we avoid, we can’t learn from. I now have the ability to access my values at a deeper emotional level which allows me to identify how I want to respond (whether verbal or behavioral). I decreased my reactiveness regarding criticizing or complaining by recognizing and utilizing self-awareness.
Stop Paying Therapists isn’t about encouraging people to avoid or quit therapy. It’s more about encouraging clients to utilize their time in therapy by being more intentional about equipping the skills and tools taught in order to graduate from therapy. We shouldn’t start therapy without the goal of completing therapy. The time we spend in therapy varies. At times it could be as brief as one session and at other times therapy can last for years. Whether it is one session or years of sessions, neither is wrong unless both the therapist and client aren’t being intentional about utilizing the time spent to assist the client’s needs.