Overcome sex and/or porn addiction by working with a certified sex addictions therapist in a group setting. Please watch the clip below to understand why group therapy is crucial to overcoming this addiction.
“Counseling and recovery seem so expensive. I don’t think I can afford it.” This is a very common concern that therapists and recovery experts hear from clients and/or potential clients. Yes, many people can readjust their lives and spending habits some to make room for their mental and relational health. But, for some, if not most, when these words are spoken, it is a legitimate concern. In this episode of RecoveryTV LIVE, licensed therapists and long-time recovery experts, Chuck & Vicky Robinson, joins us to talk about this concern. We hope you will consider joining in on this LIVE discussion and bring your questions with you!
ABOUT OUR GUESTS: Chuck & Vicky Robinson
Chuck Robinson grew up in Oklahoma City, attending the University of Central Oklahoma, where he graduated with a Business Management degree in 1988 and a Masters of Arts in Substance Abuse Studies in 2012. He was a local oil and gas business owner while volunteering in their church. In 2005, Robinson accepted the position as the first recovery pastor at Henderson Hills Baptist Church, located in Edmond, Oklahoma, serving on staff for eight (8) years. Robinson is a Licensed Alcohol and Drug Counselor, a Licensed Minister and a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist. Today he works as a therapist for Refine Counseling, located in Edmond, OK. He and his wife Vicky, co-founded a non-profit called Refined Silver, LLC. Refined Silver helps clients cover the expensive costs for counseling and/or residential treatment. He has written a book, published in 2016, called ‘Loving the Addict in Your Pew, a roadmap for building a church-based recovery ministry.’
Have you ever heard someone tell another, “Stop gaslighting me!“? Or, maybe you were having a conversation with friends when one of them happened to mention how their ex-spouse would constantly “gaslight” him/her. Or, maybe you were simply scrolling mindlessly through your Facebook feed and came across an article about a concept referred to as “gaslighting.” Despite how you were first exposed to the term, many find themselves feeling oddly curious about exactly what it means and if it is something that has been happening in their lives. So, if you are reading this, you may already have some understanding of what gaslighting is, but I hope to offer you a little more insight into this concept.
WHAT IS IT and WHY DO WE CALL IT “GASLIGHTING?”
Gaslighting is a clever manipulation aimed at getting someone, usually a loved one, to distrust their own experiences and their own reality. The term comes from an old 1940’s movie called “Gaslight.” In this movie, the husband has a terrible secret to hide. In effort to keep his wife off his trail, he utilizes psychologically manipulation to make her think that she is going crazy! If only he could get her to distrust her own reality, then she is more likely to overlook or dismiss anything suspicious or questionable. Gaslighting has also been referred as “crazy-making” in some circles.
Experiencing gaslighting is different than the somewhat normative experience of being lied to – like when a child lies about eating cookies when he has cookie crumbs all over his mouth. Gaslighting has a power element involved that leaves people feeling uneasy or twisted up inside. These feelings create distress due to how it challenges a person’s own intuition and the love and care they have for the person who is engaging in this manipulative behavior. The partner of a gaslighter often finds him/herself asking the question, “Am I going crazy?,” either to him/herself or even out loud to others.
Examples of gaslighting include blatant lies despite evidence of the contrary or even more subtle examples where actions and words don’t match up. Creating confusion or distraction is another way to keep the manipulation going. This can look like confusing details in a story or challenging or labeling someone else as the liar. Another element of gaslighting is using someone’s weakness or vulnerabilities against them. This is an effective way to distract and redirect the emotional energy of an exchange and take the heat off of the person with something to hide. In the video clip below, licensed therapist, Joshua Nichols, discusses different signs and symptoms to look for in case you are concerned that you are in a relationship with a gaslighter.
WHAT DO I DO ABOUT IT?
I hope you found the video helpful. After watching, you may have determined that you are in a relationship with a gaslighter. If that is the case, then you are likely now wondering what do I do about it or how do I put a stop to it? Well, below, we have posted a follow up video where licensed therapist, Joshua Nichols, addresses those questions. Please take a few minutes to watch.
If you find yourself in a tough relational situation, despite whether or not your spouse is a gaslighter, don’t waist anymore time trying to figure it out on your own. Seek out a relationship coach, therapist, or other relationship professional to help guide you through this relational journey. You are always more than welcome to contact our wonderful therapists here at FSC, but you can also search therapy directories (e.g., Psychology Today and IITAP) to find quality therapists in your area. We wish you well on this journey.
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Please join us LIVE on FACEBOOK with our very special guest, Travis Ernst, licensed therapist and clinical director of A Chance to Change. In this episode, Travis will we be addressing the ins and outs of GAMBLING ADDICTION. What is it? What are signs and symptoms of gambling addiction? Are there resources available? If so, where? Is there hope for those suffering and/or impacted by gambling addiction? All this and more! Join us LIVE to hear all about it.
ABOUT OUR GUEST EXPERT
Travis Hayden Ernst is the Clinical Director of A Chance to Change. A Chance to Change is celebrating 40 years of being an agency in Oklahoma City this year providing mental health and addiction services. Travis is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and a Licensed Alcohol and Drug Counselor. He has a BA in Psychology from the University of Central Oklahoma and a MS in Human Development and Family Science with a specialization in Marriage and Family Therapy. Travis has provided training at statewide conferences on several gambling issues, family interventions, and ethics. Travis speaks on mental health and addiction issues around the metro to bring more understanding to these issues and help bridge the gap for people getting help.