If you’ve experienced betrayal through infidelity and are considering a therapeutic disclosure as part of your recovery process, then you have found the right article. A therapeutic disclosure is widely adhered as a vital tool in betrayal trauma recovery, offering a structured and intentional way to rebuild trust and heal relationships. In this article, we’ll dive into the concept of a therapeutic disclosure, its benefits for couples and individuals, and how it helps set the foundation for a healthier, more transparent partnership.
What Is a Therapeutic Disclosure?
A therapeutic disclosure is a guided process where secrets—often related to infidelity—are shared in a safe, controlled environment with the help of a trained therapist. It’s not just about revealing secrets; it’s about doing so in a way that facilitates healing for both partners and the relationship itself.
Developed by Dr. Patrick Carnes and the team at the International Institute for Trauma and Addiction Professionals (IITAP), a therapeutic disclosure is a structured approach commonly used by Certified Sex Addiction Therapists (CSATs) and other betrayal trauma experts. These professionals are trained to guide couples through this delicate process in effort to promote healing rather than allowing staggered disclosure cause further harm.
The Trauma of Staggered Disclosure
One common pitfall in betrayal trauma recovery is staggered disclosure, where secrets are revealed in bits and pieces over time. This phenomenon, also referred to as “trickle-down truth,” often deepens the trauma for the betrayed partner thus further damaging the bond of emotional safety and trust. Each new revelation can feel like a fresh wound, making it harder for trust to rebuild.
Although betrayed partners experience disclosure upon discovery, and there likely will be some experience with staggered disclosure, we highly encourage all questions and future disclosures to be reserved for the therapeutic disclosure event as part of betrayal trauma couples recovery. For the betrayed partner, it’s natural to want answers and clarity. Writing down your questions and working through them with a therapist can help ensure the disclosure process is thorough and intentional. For the unfaithful partner, participating in the therapeutic disclosure process with honesty and vulnerability is essential to avoid perpetuating harm.
How Therapeutic Disclosure Helps
Therapeutic disclosure offers distinct benefits for the three entities in recovery: the betrayed partner, the unfaithful partner, and the relationship as a whole.
- For the Betrayed Partner:
– Restoring Agency: The betrayed partner often feels robbed of choice due to deception. A full disclosure allows them to regain agency by knowing the whole truth.
– Creating Emotional Safety: Understanding the full scope of betrayal can be painful but it is often very difficult to feel safe moving forward in the relationship without it. - For the Unfaithful Partner:
– Empowerment through Vulnerability: Vulnerability in sharing the full truth with intentionality and purpose can be empowering, especially when the one disclosing knows the truth potentially could result in the end of the relationship. It requires a tremendous amount of courage and it helps the unfaithful partner take accountability for their actions and recovery journey.
– Breaking the Cycle of Deception: Honesty is not only the first step toward rebuilding integrity within the relationship, but it is also a crucial step in learning to live a life built on a foundation of truth, integrity, and transparency. - For the Relationship:
– Creating a New Foundation: Therapeutic disclosure is a ritual that marks the end of the old, secretive relationship and clearing a path for a new relationship should the couple choose to build one.
– Eliminating Secrets: For many couples, this process can be the first time there are no secrets between them, which is a powerful milestone.
Is a Therapeutic Disclosure Right for You?
Therapeutic disclosures are not a one-size-fits-all solution for couples navigating the aftermath of betrayal trauma. While several factors must be carefully considered when determining the appropriateness of this intervention—such as the individuals’ health and emotional readiness—the most significant consideration often lies in the couple’s shared commitment to healing the relationship and pursuing togetherness.
It’s not uncommon for a couple planning to divorce to seek a therapeutic disclosure, often driven by the betrayed partner’s desire for clarity and truth. This need for understanding is entirely valid—most of us can empathize with wanting answers after experiencing betrayal. However, as clinicians, we have an ethical obligation to uphold a high standard of care, ensuring that the interventions we recommend provide genuine therapeutic value.
At Family Solutions Counseling (FSC), where I am a co-owner and betrayal trauma therapist, we currently refrain from facilitating disclosures for couples who are actively planning to divorce. This decision stems from the uncertainty surrounding the potential therapeutic benefits in such cases. Without a clear path toward relational healing, the disclosure process may lack the meaningful impact it is designed to achieve.
If you’re wondering whether a therapeutic disclosure is the right choice for your situation, a trained therapist can help assess its suitability and guide you through the process. To find a qualified betrayal trauma therapist in your area, visit www.iitap.com.
Conclusion
Healing from betrayal trauma is challenging, but therapeutic disclosure provides a roadmap to recovery. Whether you’re the betrayed partner seeking clarity or the unfaithful partner striving for redemption, this process may be what you need in order to you move forward together toward a healthier, more honest future.
For more resources and support, visit our website or reach out to a betrayal trauma therapist near you.
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About the Author: Joshua Nichols is a licensed marital and family therapist and certified sex addiction therapist. He is co-owner of Family Solution Counseling, a small group practice in Oklahoma City with a primary emphasis in betrayal trauma recovery from a team-approach model. Check out Josh’s latest article on the 12 Types of Gaslighting.
